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David Fletcher

Author of sci-fi and travelogue humour

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Melanesia, Melancholia and Limericks

Despite Brian’s longstanding

aversion to cruises, there was no way

he could pass up the opportunity to

join an ‘expedition cruise’ to

Melanesia. After all, this little known

corner of the Pacific Ocean included

any number of delectable

destinations, not least the myriad

islands that made up New Caledonia,

Vanuatu and the Solomon Islands.

So Brian and Sandra signed up – for

two weeks at sea in the MS

Caledonian Sky, and what would turn

out to be two weeks of discovery as

this pocket cruise ship made its way

north from New Zealand up through

Melanesia to Papua New Guinea. Along the way would be encountered isolated communities, novel cultures, lush tropical vegetation, volcanoes – and, if one was Brian, a series of self-induced melancholic episodes that threatened to ruin the whole trip. Whether it was a contemplation of the failing of friendships, the malignant nature of political correctness or just the trials of old age, Brian just couldn’t help immersing himself in gloom – despite his far from gloomy situation.

 

Indeed, so relentless were these attacks of melancholia that Brian was obliged to resort to a remedy once used by Captain Cook’s crew when they were in this same part of the Pacific. Because to relieve the tedium of their long voyages, they would set about the composition of any number of crude limericks…

 

So, Melanesia, Melancholia and Limericks provides not just an insight into the fascinating islands of Melanesia (and the not-so-fascinating depths of Brian’s melancholia) but also fifty brand new and not in the least bit melancholic limericks. Most of which Sandra found profoundly crude. Inevitably.        

Order:

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Website by Aimee Bell on behalf of Matador

A safe distance from a volcano

Extract

There was a young man from Moncrief

Whose todger was armed with sharp teeth

Well, strangely enough

It put women off

But it did help him once catch a thief

 

An Aussie young lady would wonder

Why it was that her suitors all shunned her

‘Til a friend pointed out

That without any doubt

They’d all hoped that they’d see her down under

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